Thursday, 26 June 2008

"Let's Twist Again" - Chubby Checker, 1961

I get loads of I-need-your-bank-account-information scam emails from Africa. I'm sure most of you do as well. But this morning, I've received an email with a new twist.

This one proports to come from an employee of my very own bank here in the UK. There is, apparently, a deposit of over £8million available in my bank if only I will allow the email sender to claim I'm the next of kin of the African/Middle Easterner who originally deposited the funds (under some complicated circumstances). You see, the unfortunate rich man was recently killed in Birmingham in what is described as (and I quote) "AUTO ACCIDENT TRAUMA ".

So after explaining that I'll need to provide all sorts of personal information - including details of my banking information, of course - the sender goes on to include the following paragraphs, which take this type of scam to new levels of imagination. Take a look...

I am aware of the consequences of this proposal. I ask that if you find no interest in this project that you should discard this mail. I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive. If my offer is of no appeal to you, delete this message and forget I ever contacted you. Do not destroy my career because you do not approve of my proposal. You may not know this but people like me who have made tidy sums out of comparable situations run the whole private banking sector. I am not a criminal and what I do, I do not find against good conscience, this may be hard for you to understand, but the dynamics of my industry dictates that I make this move. Such opportunities only come ones way once in a lifetime. I cannot let this chance pass me by, for once I find myself in total control of my destiny.

These chances won't pass me by. I ask that you do not destroy my chance, if you will not work with me let me know and let me move on with my life but do not destroy me. I am a family man and this is an opportunity to provide them with new opportunities. There is a reward for this project and it is a task well worth undertaking. I have evaluated the risks and the only risk I have here is from you refusing to work with me and alerting my bank. I am the only one who knows of this situation, good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the center of relevance in my life. Let's share the blessing.

If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a conclusion. I wish to inform you that should you contact me via official channels; I will deny knowing you and about this project. I repeat, I do not want you contacting me through my official phone lines nor do I want you contacting me through my official email account. Contact me only through the numbers I will provide for you and also through this email address. I do not want any direct link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy. Please observe this instruction religiously. Please, again, note I am a family man, I have wife and children. I send you this mail not without a measure of fear as to what the consequences, but I know within me that nothing ventured is nothing gained and that success and riches never come easy or on a platter of gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private

I await your response. Feel free to call me on this number 0044-xxx-xxx-xxxx.

I have not called him. But I have to wonder just how many actuall will.



At 27 June, 2008 14:58 , Blogger Heather Plett said...

Clearly somebody must be having some success with this kind of scam, because there sure show up often in my inbox! If they weren't getting anything out of it, it would seem like too much bother.

Lately, I'm getting a lot of spam that says "you look stupid". Hmmm... doesn't seem like a subject line that would make me want to open the email!


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