"The Best Things In Life Are Free" - Les Paul and Mary Ford, some time in the 1950s
Here's my latest conversation at a till in the Sainsbury's Local, in the Oxford City Centre...
Me (tall, white middle-aged American woman): Good morning!
Him (small, brown young man in Sainsbury's uniform): Hello!
Him, as he starts nosing around in the basket: OH - you like bananas?
Him, as he continues to scan items: OH - you like crumpets?
Him: OH - you like (something unintelligible).
Me: I'm sorry - what did you ask me?
Him: You like prawns?
(Ahhhh...that's what it was. He saw the prawns in the salad I'd bought.)
Me (becoming a teeny bit weary of having the contents of my basket announced): Yes, I do.
Him: They are just little prawns.
Me: Yes, I know.
Him: You should see the ones in MY country.
Me: Where are you from?
Me: Oh - I've never been there before.
Him: Really? Oh, YOU SHOULD GO. It's very nice. It's very cheap to go there. YOU SHOULD GO. They have big prawns there....and they are FREE! You know, they are in the sea there, so they are FREE. And they are very fresh.
Me: That sounds really good. I used to live in Texas. They have big shrimp there, too.
Him: Where is Texas? Is that in America?
Him: So you are American?
Him: OH - America - that's a VERY GOOD COUNTRY!
(A short pause, as he scanned the yogurts. He didn't announce those.)
Him: We have lots of fish in Bangladesh, too. Nice fish. They are fresh. And they are FREE!
Me: Well, that sounds good. I should go to Bangladesh.
(And then he scanned my chicken pasta salad - for tomorrow's lunch.)
Him. OH - you like CHICKEN? We have chicken in Bangladesh, too.
That was the final item. I paid him, smiled, and then I left.
I can't wait to get sent to his till again!