"Between Here and Gone" - Mary Chapin Carpenter, 2004

Lord Celery readers will be delighted to know that Janet has arrived safely in Cape Town for her latest business trip, after a rather arduous passage through Heathrow Airport.

Sadly this is not true for her luggage which has left here, but has not arrived. Janet herself is thus 6,000 miles from home with nothing but the clothes she wore on the flight and a clear plastic bag containing her travel documents.

Her clothes, washing kit, contact lenses, cosmetics, camera, phones, computer, business paperwork, contact details.... all in limbo.

In compensation however, British Airways has given her a £35 voucher. Janet has eaten half of it already, and tells me that she will save the other half in case the room service at her hotel does not start at 6pm as advertised.

The self-proclaimed "World's Favourite Airline" has also provided her with a claim form. This assures her that "most travellers are reunited with their missing luggage within 7 days". It even goes on to tell her that BA "work hard to maintain this high standard". (If you were eating when you read that, here is how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on yourself. )

With luck, and if her luggage is really at Heathrow, tonight's flight to Cape Town may carry Janet's bags aboard. At the time of writing, the flight is three-and-a-half hours overdue for takeoff, with no scheduled departure time yet.

Seriously though, Janet arrived safe and well, and tells me she has a terrific view of Table Mountain from her room. I guess given the news these days, a missing bag or two is a pretty small problem.

Like BA, Lord Celery hopes that normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

John